麻烦张教授,

　　请您看看我刚才的问题.

　　小鸭子的事，我想了很久，算是写出了思绪万千中的几缕.这事往大了说，又回到了一直讨论着的目的；从小处看，我对孩子的教育还是挂一漏万，捉襟见肘，希望得到您的指教.

　　我也出点儿主意--关于闹人的孩子

　　(写完才发现，小胖妈已经有了这么感人的答复.就算抛玉引砖吧.)

　　孩子才8个月，对奶奶或别人有亲密的感情，应该正常吧.但动不动就大哭大闹，可能就是不好的苗头了.

　　现在大部分人家里都只有一个孩子，很容易在不知不觉中，让孩子习惯成为中心，身边的一切都围绕自己平时，也见过一些脾气大的孩子，心里替孩子惋惜没有早一些得到纠正，有时忍不住，也劝劝别人的家长.其实，以我的体会，发现孩子不好的动向并及时加以修正，在时间，精力和对亲情的影响上，不管对大人和孩子，都是事半功倍的，而木已成舟后再费尽心思管教，或干脆放任自流，却会带来很多不后果.

　　有几个建议，不妨试试(有些恐怕得等孩子大一些，能交流时才管用).

　　1.分清轻重缓急，如果孩子没有道理地哭闹，大人先平静地，简明讲清道理(对大一些的孩子)，说明处置办法("如果好好说，不哭了，就可以...；要是还接着哭闹，就不能...")，然后置之不理，甚至关进安全，单调的小房间.一般情况下，坚持几回，就有效果.以后大人可以省心不少.

　　特别注意：大人得目标一致，不当着孩子面争执；不论奖惩，均言而有信，说到做到.

　　2.惩罚完，孩子恢复平静後，及时安抚.大人可以抱着孩子，告诉孩子刚才为什么那样做，以及改了缺点，会更喜欢孩子等等.效果特好.

　　2.尽量将孩子以家族普通一员的标准对待，无论是吃水果，选电视频道，做游戏输赢，作家务，时间节目安排等等，至少在表面上，不给特殊标准.好东西一人一个(哪怕大人背后再放回)，特殊东西强调对事不对人("因为你太小拎不动，我帮你拎；爷爷老了，拎不动，也帮爷爷拎拎.""你在长身体，所以要xxx，大人不用，等你大了也不用""妈妈先陪你xxx，一会儿你再陪妈妈xxx""我用大抹布擦这儿，你用小抹布擦那儿，看谁先干完")

　　其实，孩子很在乎别人是否把他／她当大人看的.大人顺水推舟，何乐不为？

　　3.对孩子的正当要求，尽量满足，让孩子体会到家长的爱心；平时多给孩子正面鼓励，针对具体事例，大力表扬，甚至广为宣传，让孩子树立信心.

　　4.平时多与孩子交流，了解孩子想法，顺带教一些东西.比如，"我今天看见某小朋友，作了xxx.我觉得他／她这么做挺好／不好，因为..."

　　总之，家长的心态特别重要，孩子只要教育有方，都会是好孩子.

　　搬过来再说吧----谢谢佳咪妈

　　音乐想象力

　　在学习音乐的过程中，音乐想象力(musical imagination)是非常重要的，没有想象力的演奏是没有什么生命力可言的。当一个学生成长到中学或大学，而对练琴的概念只限于基本功技术，泛泛的音乐处理，或模仿一些大师的录音等等，那么这位学生的演奏无疑会走入瓶颈。即使读了很多书，有很多作曲技法、结构分析的知识，若不注重这方面的发展，也无法产生本质上的突破。培养音乐想象力是越早越好，很多幼小孩童所表现出的丰富的想象常常令大人觉得是匪夷所思，而一个普遍的现象是，当年龄渐长，孩子们的想象力却日益衰退，最终成为充满知识的机器，如果是学音乐的，则是万事具备、只欠"东风"(音乐的本相-生命)的音乐家。近些年来，我都在尝试从学生学琴的最初级阶段开始，就培养他们的音乐想象力，用口头描述、绘画、写作、即兴演奏等方式让孩子们自己诠释他们所练习的曲子，效果非常好，也使课堂上的那几十分钟变得那么活泼、有趣，以至一些孩子被上课的魅力所吸引，即使有时在家不大情愿练琴，可一想到不练好就无法上好课，也就乖乖地练下去了。有时，当我知道某个学生很爱画画，我就会给他布置一个"特殊作业"，请他回家后把正在练的一首曲子画下来，一周后交给我，我们会有一个简短的讨论，然后，再让他把那幅画弹出来给我听。有时，我会让学生在课上随意想出一个词或一句话，然后请他在琴上用我事先告诉他的调性、节奏型等即兴弹奏，我在另一架琴上用一个固定的和声组合为他伴奏，连奏或断奏、强或若、快或慢都根据他对语言的想象而随时调整。还有的时候，就学生自己弹的或是我弹给他听的一段曲子，我让他说出象什么，一句话，一个词都可以。曾经一个五岁的小男生在我发问后，沉思良久，然后答"fall"(秋天)，我想想，那曲子还真是有点红枫秋日的意境。

　　下面所选载的是九岁女孩Amy最近写的一篇故事，是她在弹柯普兰的"猫和老鼠"的过程当中，我要求她用自己的想象，根据音乐的进行及全曲每个部分的速度、力度、表情等记号，写出一个故事，然后，把这故事弹给我听。在写了这个故事之后仅一、两周之内，虽然演奏上仍有许多细节要琢磨，但很明显的，她的音乐活了。

　　Amy's interpretation of Copland's The Cat And The Mouseby Amy WannOnce upon a time, there was a cat who always wanted to catch a mouse, but never did. One day, he managed to find him.　"Here's my chance," he thought. With a good, high leap , he missed the mouse by two millimeters! The cat ran after the mouse with all his might , with the mouse never far ahead. When the cat was getting a bit tired, he sat down to think and rest. The mouse was puzzled. It had expected the cat to chase it some more. The cat saw a slide , with the mouse in front of it. He had an idea. The cat got up slowly, ready to pounce. He ran up a slide and slid down super fast, his paw actually touched the mouse's tail ! Nevertheless, the mouse escaped, as always. They chased around. The cat was sliding so fast that he slid on a keyboard and didn't even stop or at least slow down! He slid far to the edge of the keyboard and finally stopped on the next to last key. The cat , who was very tired after this exciting adventure, managed to swagger on the very last key, and slumped down to take a nap. A short while later, the cat had lost sight of the mouse he had been chasing. "Oh, great!" he muttered. He got up and looked around. He saw a tiny mouse, creeping along the floor. Yes! It was the mouse he had been chasing!! The cat tiptoed over. The mouse was far away from him, but he took his time. POUNCE!!!!!!!! The cat almost caught the mouse!!!!! The cat tiptoed away, trying to think of another idea. The cat slid across the shiny wood floor, and pounced three times. POW!!! POW!!! POW!!! The pouncing was SO loud that it made echoes in the house! The cat suddenly noticed the nice weather outside and thought, "Why didn't I notice such good weather? Mouse-catching can wait. I want to go lie in the sun." Minutes later, the cat woke up from his dreaming andremembered the fact that the mouse was not yet caught, and he needed to work on catching the mouse. Thinking about how to catch the fast mouse, he tiptoed over. WHAM!!! He had started chasing the mouse as soon as it saw it. They chased around and around and around. The cat was creeping along the floor quietly, and he was moving ever so slightly. POW!!! POW!!! POW!!! The cat pounced very far three times. Next he ran toward the piano and took 7 climbs to get on top to the keyboard. The cat JUMPED in the AIR, landed on the very first key, and started sliding! He slid all the way down to the end of the keyboard, jumped off and started chasing the tired mouse. The mouse, who was tired , tried one last trick on the sly cat: It ran zig-zagged across the wooden floor, hoping to confuse the cat. But it almost made no difference to it . POUNCE !!! POUNCE!!! POUNCE!!! POUNCE!!! The cat pounced 4 more times and almost caught the mouse! POUNCE!!!!! POUNCE!!!!! POUNCE!!!!!! POUNCE!!!!!!! Finally, the cat caught the pesky mouse! After the cat ate the mouse, he stopped to think: Maybe I shouldn't have ate the mouse so quickly. But he crawled to his bed and fell asleep.

　　The End

　　佳咪妈转贴自www.witdawn.org/NonCGI/Forum8/HTML/000001.html